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How to Actually Be Helpful – The Leadership That Works Newsletter

by Amy Federman | Jun 30, 2025

At ConantLeadership, we’re committed to lifelong learning and continuous improvement. In service to your leadership growth, each month we curate this digest of resources from around the web to:

Share actionable advice from top leadership luminaries
Celebrate a range of viewpoints (inclusion is not an endorsement)
Contextualize workplace trends through a leadership lens
Support your personal development in life, leadership, & beyond

Want to work with us to lift your or your team’s leadership to new heights? Drop us a line or get on our calendar.

In this edition of the Leadership That Works Newsletter: How to be helpful, bring great empathy to your work, keep your networks warm, a CEO guide for navigating the future of AI, find happiness in ‘micro-moments,’ and more.

As always, we’re sharing the content from our Leadership That Works newsletter here on our blog. If you find these links enriching, you can sign up to receive our newsletter right here.

New from ConantLeadership

The 4 Key Components of a Great Corporate Purpose

In this new blog recap of a conversation between Daryl Brewster, CEO of Chief Executives for Corporate Purpose, and Doug Conant, Founder & CEO of ConantLeadership, the two experts share insights about the leadership impact of a strong purpose that unites the organization. Brewster, in his work with hundreds of CEOs from the Fortune 500 and beyond, has seen firsthand what makes for an effective corporate purpose, and what doesn’t. He says there are four key components that contribute to a powerful purpose.

Unique. “Unique to the enterprise.”

Aligned. “Linked to the DNA” of your particular organization.

Compelling. Compelling enough to “rally an organization together.”

Clear. Easily “translated to the critical stakeholders” even if the words vary a bit.

Get the full story here.

**Registration is now open for our 9th BLUEPRINT Leadership Summit, a virtual meeting of top leadership luminaries, on September 15-19, 2025. View the agenda and secure your free spot here.

How to Actually Be Helpful

“Asking for and receiving help at work can boost employees’ creativity, help them learn new skills, and strengthen their interpersonal ties,” write the authors of this Harvard Business Review piece on how to ask for, and provide, help that’s actually helpful. Although the benefits of collaborative work cultures with strong values around helping are well documented, the authors cite research from a year-long study which found that, “even in organizations with strong helping cultures, a significant portion of help is perceived as unhelpful.” They say that for leaders to understand what good helping looks like, they need to first be able to identify what constitutes “unhelpful help,” which is “assistance that misses the mark—because it’s poorly executed, not what was promised, or simply not what the recipient needed.” Unhelpful help is usually given with the best of intentions but can still “drain energy, slow down work, and erode trust.” They explain the three factors that contribute to the issue.

1. Fuzzy asks and murky understanding. “In a culture where helping is expected, people ask for help often—but not always clearly,” so they make “fuzzy asks—vague, open-ended requests like ‘I just wanted to get your input.’”

2. Optimistic expectations and lack of accountability. “Fuzzy asks often led help-seekers to assume their needs were understood—and would be met,” which created “optimistic expectations: the belief that givers could solve the problem.”

3. An emotionally charged aftermath. “Unhelpful help doesn’t just derail projects—it damages relationships and morale,” leaving recipients feeling “misled and unsupported,” and leaving givers feeling that “their contributions were ignored or misused.”

The authors offer three tips for avoiding unhelpful help: “Clarify the problem,” then “avoid the politeness trap,” and make sure to “close the loop and show your gratitude.” Get the full story here.

Be ‘the Architect’ and ‘the Gardener’

“In any creative effort, we can only be architects or gardeners. One prioritizes order, the other curiosity,” writes Angela Ruth in this blog coverage of a recent talk by Nick Milo, an expert on organizing your thinking to get more stuff done. Ruth says the problem is that “most of us get stuck in one mode when we actually need both.” She explains, “according to Milo, architects are top-down thinkers who crave structure and organization. They need to consider the broader implications before taking action. Gardeners, on the other hand, are bottom-up thinkers who follow their enthusiasm and don’t mind a bit of mess.” Yet most big projects, strategic initiatives, and launch items need a mix of both thinking types, so the challenge becomes recognizing where in the process you are best served by each approach. Ruth summarizes Milo’s framework that can help individuals and teams ask more “generative questions” in the planning process while using both gardener and architect thinking.

What is this a part of? (architect thinking)
What does this relate to? (gardener thinking)
Why do I care about this? (meaning-making)

She says, “these questions create value through sense-making rather than mere organization.” Get the full story, including more tips for applying both architect and gardener thinking, here.

**For more on thinking frameworks, explore our piece on the three types of intelligence that constitute “the anatomy of leadership competence.“

‘Bring Great Empathy to the Work’ – A Veteran Board Chair’s Perspective

In this interview with James D. White who is board chair of The Honest Company and has served as chair or lead director at seven companies over the last 20 years, White shares rich insights for board members and leaders on how to best serve an organization. Here are four takeaways.

Bring great empathy to the work. “I always look for the humanity from a leadership perspective . . . I always want to understand how the organization operates, and how teams work together, and how people are valued.”

Stay clear on values to stay calm. “We want the board to provide the CEO with a steady and calm set of voices in these times. And the touchstone for me is always, what are our values at the particular company? Whether it’s tariffs or the conversations around DEI in this moment, the best companies are clear about their values.”

Ask the right questions. “The best board directors ask great questions that help management think beyond the immediate challenges and anticipate things they might not see. They might have two or three critical questions that they share with the CEO beforehand so that they can better prepare for the boardroom conversations.”

Think ‘help,’ not ‘work.’ “When I interview to possibly join a board, I tell potential fellow board members and the CEO that most days, when I show up in the boardroom, I want to look like help versus work. Yes, I’ve got a fiduciary responsibility, but I want to leverage my experience in a way that is relevant to the management team.”

Get the full story here.

Keeping Your Network Warm Is a ‘Discipline’

“It’s often the case that the longer you stay in the workforce, the bigger your network gets . . . your network could easily include hundreds or even thousands of people,” says this KelloggInsight coverage of Professor Craig Wortmann’s advice for nurturing your network as it grows across the span of your leadership career. Wortmann says “keeping your network warm” is “an active process, one that requires tremendous discipline,” so he treats it “like any other discipline—working out, eating right—because I know that it has such a huge payoff for me, my company, my students, and anyone else I’m trying to help.” He offers three strategies for ensuring your networks don’t run cold.

Reach out regularly. Wortmann recommends being intentional about choosing 3-5 people to reach out to per week. He says to “have a specific reason why you’re reaching out,” not some vague request to “pick their brain,” a request he calls “worthless and empty.” And, “always include an offer alongside an ask. For example, you might share a useful contact, or a link to a recent article that’s relevant to your target’s interests.”

Commit to social media. “A social-media presence is a must-have. For many professionals, that’s most effectively done on LinkedIn,” a platform where “people genuinely go to learn and connect.” Wortmann says “social media is super powerful because of its scale,” but “you’ve got to do it consistently, and it’s got to be centered on something that you’re known for.”

Send your network direct updates. “With so many ways to connect today, choosing how to reach out to your network can be overwhelming . . . but pretty much everyone uses email. Take advantage of that to connect with a large chunk of your network at once.” Wortmann recommends sending updates to your email lists at regular intervals, “which will vary in frequency and content depending on where you are professionally,” but should combine the “aesthetic of a social-media presence with the content and tone of an interesting personal update,” while also reflecting “your personality and goals.”

Get the full story here.

A CEO Guide for Navigating the AI Present & Future

Amit Walia, CEO of Informatica, has a message for his fellow leaders about the future of AI: “Don’t be surprised by it; be ready.” In this Fortune post, Walia shares his advice for leaders managing “the dizzying pace of change with AI and the sense that this time the stakes are higher.” He offers three guiding thoughts for today and tomorrow.

Nurture the Technologist Within. ” A good starting point for many people is to raise their AI IQ by getting hands-on experience with generative-AI tools like ChatGPT, Gemini, Claude, or Perplexity . . . even experienced workers and managers need to think about ways to advance their AI know-how.”

Try Bite-Sized Learning Breaks. “AI certifications can be a way to come up to speed on complex technologies such as APIs, machine learning, language models, and frameworks.” However, leaders must recognize that “not everyone has the time or budget for these programs,” so instead try and encourage “self-directed development through online learning, project-based learning, and even ‘micro-learning’ with bite-sized content during breaks or between tasks.”

Remember: Human Skills Still Matter. Based on an analysis of its members, LinkedIn “found that ‘human skills’—things like curiosity, creativity, communication, and courage—may matter the most in today’s workplace,” which signals that “the future of work will be an eclectic mix of human skills and AI skills.” So it is equally important to become more fluent in AI tools and to “bring our best versions of ourselves to work every day.”

Get the full story here (this post may appear behind a paywall for some readers).

**For more on how to navigate the world of AI as a leader, explore our limited series, ‘EQ Answers to AI Questions.‘

Find Happiness in ‘Micro-Moments’

“I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed lately, both by the news and by a bit of life stuff,” writes Jancee Dunn in this New York Times newsletter about how to infuse even our most chaotic days with a little bit of joy. While Dunn sometimes wishes she “could retreat to a mountaintop” to escape the madness of daily life, her “more realistic plan is to seek out the smallest possible things I can do each day to give myself a lift.” For example, each morning, she consults a bird-watching app on her phone to see if new birds have shown up in her yard, and the ritual brings a smile to her face. Dunn cites experts who say “micro-moments of positivity like this really can improve your well-being,” and research shows that “recognizing, cultivating and savoring these bits of happiness builds well-being, resilience and resourcefulness.” To help us create these restorative “micro-moments” in our day, Dunn consulted experts for advice and here are three of their recommendations.

Look for ‘reverse pet-peeves.’ “A pet peeve is something small that disproportionately annoys you,” whereas “a ‘reverse pet peeve’ is something small that brings you disproportionate joy.” This might include arranging things on your desk in a pleasing formation or using your favorite mug for your morning coffee.

Do something ‘slo-mo’ on purpose. “Research suggests that short periods of mindfulness can improve your psychological health,” so one expert advises to “do something single-mindedly at half speed, such as washing dishes” or luxuriating in your favorite skin care routine rather than rushing through it.

Find ‘the sliver.’ “Sometimes the activities that give us ‘big joy,’ such as vacations, require too much planning, money, time and effort,” so instead, “you can find a sliver of vacation life to relish right now,” like re-creating a special drink or dish that you enjoyed on a recent trip or basking in the sun on your patio for 15 minutes to replicate a sun-soaked getaway.

Get the full story here.

What Makes a ‘Great’ Leader

David Grossman conducted a study with The Harris Poll which found that “only a third of employees felt their leaders were exceptional,” but they also “had a clear sense of what it takes for leaders to get there.” He summarizes his research findings in this post on his blog and identifies eight defining characteristics of “great” leaders. Here are three.

They truly believe in communication. “In most successful organizations now, communicators have a seat at the table, with critical input in decision-making. More leaders also see how essential it is to work on their own communication skills. Strong leaders know that communication allows them to establish an extraordinary culture,” and they “care enough about communication to personally participate in making it happen.”

They demonstrate that they care. “Under exceptional leaders, employees consistently reported feeling valued, appreciated, and that their work mattered. In stark contrast, those working under outdated, command-and-control type leaders were far more likely to report feeling burnt out, exhausted, and overwhelmed.”

They encourage diverse views and creative thought. The best leaders “express that honest feedback can be provided without fear of repercussions,” and they publicly show support for employees who ask tough questions. “A simple response such as, ‘Thank you for raising this tough issue because I think it’s really important,’ sets the tone that the leader is open to being challenged and wants to hear different points of view.”

Get the full story here.

**For more on this, explore our book The Blueprint, which offers six practical steps for lifting your leadership to new heights, and ten foundational tenets of “leadership that works.”

New from ConantLeadership

Registration Is Now Open for the Fall BLUEPRINT LEADERSHIP SUMMIT on September 15-19, 2025!

Grab your FREE spot and view the full agenda and speaker lineup here.

‘Professionals Take Breaks’—2 Bestselling Authors on the Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing

In Doug Conant’s conversation with Dan Pink, author of multiple bestselling books on leadership and human behavior, the two panelists share the evidence-based ways to plan your day for maximum impact.

‘Great Leaders Make Meaning’—2 Purpose-Driven CEOs on ‘People First’ Leadership

In Doug Conant’s conversation with Deanna Mulligan, CEO of Purposeful and former chair and CEO of Guardian Life Insurance, both leaders impart their practical advice for making meaning, anchoring yourself in purpose, and placing people at the center of your leadership approach.

‘Be the Keeper of the Flame’—How to Create Inspiring Workplace Cultures

In Doug Conant’s conversation with Amanda Poole, Chief People Officer at Bristol Myers Squibb (BMS), both leaders share tips for creating workplace cultures that inspire people and drive innovation.

May’s Leadership That Works Newsletter

In last month’s newsletter: Protect your team against ‘anti-mattering,’ practice ‘loud living,’ keep the ‘human’ in ‘human resources,’ how to be heard in a noisy world, employee engagement by the numbers, and more.

About the Author: Amy Federman is ConantLeadership’s Director of Content and Editor in Chief, and co-author with Doug Conant of the WSJ bestseller, The Blueprint.